There is a reason why both men and women feel more attractive when they are in love. Beauty thrives in a nurturing intimate relationship. Noise and silence, on the other hand, destroy emotional health, love relationships, and-as a conseqence-destroys physical beauty. The damage is obvious and predictable.
Couples caught up in intimate romantic conflict have a habit of chronically modifying or completely eliminating verbal communications as punishment for what they feel are personal affronts and transgressions. It happens even when the perceived transgression is slight.
Verbal punishment takes many forms with varying degrees of damage to emotional health and to intimate relationships. In some love relationships, both partners aggressively shout at each other. In other intimate relationships, one partner is the loud antagonistic noise and the other is the aggrieved silent one.
Intimate relationships are also damaged and destroyed when couples who are at odds with each other don't talk to each other at all.
Some husbands and wives, even with children in the home, can go long periods of times--days, weeks, months--without sharing any conversations beyond the minimal exchanges of grunts and comments necessary for maintaining the household. Sometimes, however, they resort to speaking through the children. Unfortunately, using children as a conduit for anger, especially passive aggressive anger, has been observed to be an act that damages children.
Silence is a brutal and malignant weapon. It is a cancer when it permeates an intimate love relationship. Even in its benign state, in the absence of apparent anger, silence is a deterrent to beauty in both sexual love relationships and platonic love relationships.
A sexual couple that does not share conversation is a diverging pair in a dying relationship. They are losing the sexual intimacy and the emotional intimacy they have or might have had. The cure for such neglect begins when both partners agree to share non-sexual physical activities, seek and share mutual intellectual interests, and actively seek to rid themselves of silence.
Shouting is on the other side of silence on the comunication wall of destruction.
Shouting is a brutal weapon. You can see its destruction in the reaction of a small child when an adult assaults the child with a barrage of angry threats and condemnations. The child either withers into a smaller shell of itself and broods in private or in self preservation becomes angry and lashes back defiantly. When shouting is used as an instrument for punishment in an adult sexual love relationship, the reaction of the aggrieved partner can be the same as that of any small child.
The anger and rage that initiates shouting should never be allowed to inudate a love relationship. Shouting destroys beauty and intimacy. It is a bitter deterrent to every intimate relationship.
Angry violent words are brutal weappons. More often than not, they critically wound the person at whom they are directed. Sometimes, the wounds never heal. And even when the shouting is over, the scars that remain hastens the silence that sounds the death knell of what could have been or perhaps once was a beautiful nurturing intimate relationship.