We struggle in our attempts to discover and encounter a Manifest God because our three dimensional Earthbound design lacks the capacity to locate and experience a Manifest God. Since it unlikely that our Creator God exists in 3-Dimensional form--in whatever state God exists--our 3-dimensional sense cannot perceive Him. Consequently, our experiences or lack of them may lead us to believe that God, either by design or by omission is elusive to His human creations. But many among the faithful will say that God is always there and willing to be with us.
However, God is elusive if that is your experience with Him. In that sense you need not feel alone, deserted, or weird. Neither should you feel burdened by the threat of eternal damnation to the soul that defines you merely because you have questions and doubts, not about your relationship with God, but about God's relationship with you.
Many people never encounter God and therefore never experience God. The perceived ambiguity of our mortal human existence and God's elusiveness is the stuff that fuels the Anxiety of Mortal Being. That perception of our mortal reality and of our relationship with God is more common that is the perception of those who declare with pious arrogance and pride that they have a close, even intimate, relationship with God.
However, you don't have to wallow in the pseudo comfort of avoidance or denial of the existence of God to assuage the fear manifested by your lack of a connection with God or by your disappointment in God for His Failure to make it happen or at least to make it easier for it to happen.
You can resolve the ambiguity that confounds you. You can encounter God. You can find solace in that encounter. You can have a blessed intimate relationship with Him. You can have all of these things if you are willing to accept the symbiotic gifts offered by God. Before Survivor Women and the men who love them can receive the gift of symbiotic Grace, they first must acknowledge that God's requirements for our lives are not arduous. They are not arduous simply because God does not want His expectations of us to be so difficult that we cannot perform them. Our Creator God possesses enough demonstrative power to make us tremble, kneel in awe under the gaze of His Power, and accede to His Will if He wanted to. But that is not the way of a Symbiotic God. That is the way of a human tyrant. God desires that that we willingly give Him what He wants from us.
He rewards Eve's children for willingly allowing a special relationship with Him and giving us the six rewards of Symbiotic Grace. This is the true reward of Symbiotic Intimacy. The is real comfort for the uncomforted soul. This is the mortal salvation for the human race.