"Why is there more shame in being raped than in being a rapist?" I've read this quote on a number of social media pages. But I've never read a male response that I can remember. At least I have never read a male response that made any sense. Of course, dumb jerks who think they are smart and funny always manage to make an asinine comment about rape. But we aren't talking about them.
Men who think rape is funny, or worse believe rape is sometimes a justifiable act, possess no redeeming value and are beyond help. Society's only hope is that they won't further pollute the human gene pool by producing male progeny. The belief that rape and the shame that goes with it is the responsibility of the woman is a global belief. It is a widely held belief that the avoidance of rape is only an issue for women and the responsibility of women.
Me,Too.
In a sane and civilized society, men, women, and children should show more empathy for rape victims and show less sympathy for rapists. The divide would be so clear that the rapist should feel more shame than does the woman who is raped.
When men manage to feel shame about rape, the shame can take on a ludicrous almost insane life. The story is told that in one middle eastern country, a man was found guilty of raping another man's wife. His punishment was more insane than the rape itself. As punishment, the "defiled" husband was given permission to rape the sister of the man who raped his wife. Rape of the two women was viewed as shaming the men. But neither man would be shamed by the rape they inflicted on innocent women.
This is worse than insanity; it is madness. The only response to sexual assault worse than this scenario occurs in those places where the male relatives of a woman who is raped feel so much shame that the woman is ostracized or condemned to die for the sins and the transgressions of her sexual assault. Sometimes she is forced to marry her rapist.
The rape culture sentiment that exists in the USA, while not as insane as are the events depicted above, still leave much to be desired in our approach to the victims and the perpetrators of rape. A GOP strategist in 2014 said that rape and incest are minor issues. What sane man would make that statement? Surely, a sane man would know that rape and incest aren't minor issues for the girls and women who are victims of incest and rape. But in an active rape culture, men are protected by the belief held by many men that--absent sexual assault by a minority, violent rage, and brutality-- that rape really isn't such a bad thing.
Some Christian Americans unreservedly express more outrage about acts of habitual consensual sex than they do about rape. But even with consensual sex, like rape, the onus of shame and outrage is borne by the girl. No one wants to ruin the life of a young boy, especially a young white boy from a "respectable" family, merely because he enjoyed sexual relations with a willing female. Nor are many citizens willing to "ruin the life" of a young boy merely because he was put in a position by a girl where he was unable to control his sexual urges. The lesson here is that the rape is the girl's fault because of a variety of reasons: she was drunk; she was high; she led me on and changed her mind; she wanted it too; it was consensual are just a few of the defenses.
Consensual sex or rape, the onus is on the girl who is the one who should feel shame and/or suffer the indignity of being labelled a slut. In too many cases (even one is too many) rape victims are hounded by their communities until their personalities crumble because they endured severe shaming. Sometimes they commit suicide.
Regardless, of how the rape victim manages to deal with the public knowledge of her sexual assault, the boy is free, without stigma, to go on to his next conquest or his next victim.
In a sane society, communities would stop blaming and shaming the victims of rape and sexual violence and instead place the blame and shame on the rapists--no matter their money and social status.
It's Time To Start Shaming Rapists Instead Of Rape Victims.
"Why is there more shame in being raped than in being a rapist?" I've read this quote on a number of social media pages. But I've never read a male response that I can remember. At least I have never read a male response that made any sense. Of course, dumb jerks who think they are smart and funny always manage to make an asinine comment about rape. But we aren't talking about them.
Men who think rape is funny, or worse believe rape is sometimes a justifiable act, possess no redeeming value and are beyond help. Society's only hope is that they won't further pollute the human gene pool by producing male progeny. The belief that rape and the shame that goes with it is the responsibility of the woman is a global belief. It is a widely held belief that the avoidance of rape is only an issue for women and the responsibility of women.
In a sane and civilized society, men, women, and children should show more empathy for rape victims and show less sympathy for rapists. The divide would be so clear that the rapist should feel more shame than does the woman who is raped.
When men manage to feel shame about rape, the shame can take on a ludicrous almost insane life. The story is told that in one middle eastern country, a man was found guilty of raping another man's wife. His punishment was more insane than the rape itself. As punishment, the "defiled" husband was given permission to rape the sister of the man who raped his wife. Rape of the two women was viewed as shaming the men. But neither man would be shamed by the rape they inflicted on innocent women.
This is worse than insanity; it is madness. The only response to sexual assault worse than this scenario occurs in those places where the male relatives of a woman who is raped feel so much shame that the woman is ostracized or condemned to die for the sins and the transgressions of her sexual assault. Sometimes she is forced to marry her rapist.
The rape culture sentiment that exists in the USA, while not as insane as are the events depicted above, still leave much to be desired in our approach to the victims and the perpetrators of rape. A GOP strategist in 2014 said that rape and incest are minor issues. What sane man would make that statement? Surely, a sane man would know that rape and incest aren't minor issues for the girls and women who are victims of incest and rape. But in an active rape culture, men are protected by the belief held by many men that--absent sexual assault by a minority, violent rage, and brutality-- that rape really isn't such a bad thing.
Consensual sex or rape, the onus is on the girl who is the one who should feel shame and/or suffer the indignity of being labelled a slut. In too many cases (even one is too many) rape victims are hounded by their communities until their personalities crumble because they endured severe shaming. Sometimes they commit suicide.
Regardless, of how the rape victim manages to deal with the public knowledge of her sexual assault, the boy is free, without stigma, to go on to his next conquest or his next victim.
In a sane society, communities would stop blaming and shaming the victims of rape and sexual violence and instead place the blame and shame on the rapists--no matter their money and social status.
Reblog (0) | |
|